I have been there myself and I'm sure you know someone like her, but I know someone who loves God and was involved with a lot of service positions at church, singer, pianist, drummer, teacher, PowerPoint presentation.... the result is anxiety and deep depression. What happened? In a conversation with her, she believes that since we are to obey the leaders of the church, when leaders asked her, she couldn't say no. Besides, suffering for God is noble, and maybe can win some brownie points. What is wrong with that picture?
Take a sabbath.
My parents loved serving in the church, they have seen service as an obligation and a measure of how much you love God. In fact, there was so much emphasis on serving that there is some shaming on the ones who don't serve. When I first came to Calvary Chapel Fremont, I was tired but I felt an obligation to serve so I wanted to volunteer. But the leadership had told me that it's recommended that the first 6 months we just get fed spiritually and enjoy the life of church without serving. What? That was the first time in my Christian career that I didn't do anything at church. We just attended Sunday service faithfully and really take in God's message for us and drink it up fully. It felt good. It was a time of recharging and growth. I know that it isn't right to serve all the time or not serve at all. But like many things in life, we need to find a balance and keep the balance carefully. Serving from an empty cup leads straight to spiritual and emotional exhaustion. Take a sabbath from time to time. It is Biblical to rest.
Serve out of a grateful heart.
Once I read a particular passage on the priestly garments to be made out of linen because a priest ought not to sweat. Serving God should not be a heavy burden. It should be a delight and no sweat. What a concept! God loves a cheerful giver. God doesn't want us to be heavily burdened by doing good. Even though it is His will for us to do good, but there is a balance at all times. There is a time to serve and a time to rest and take care of ourselves just like there is a time to plant and a time to uproot.
I am reminded that God doesn't need me to serve. He can run the world very well without my contribution. To serve Him is a privilege. It always is. It's not to win brownie points. It's not to gain any kind of favor with Him. God already loves us regardless. I often serve because I am so grateful for what He has done. I was a wreck and was blind, but now I see and I am whole. Our pastor Hugo often said that if you don't feel God's love for you, perhaps you have forgotten what a terrible mess you once were. I met a woman in our children ministry who served in every corner, she was the first one there and last one left. I asked her how she is able to keep serving God. She said that "my life was saved by Jesus. I am just so grateful."
When I first moved here to Taiwan, I had trouble with Chinese, I had no friends or relatives near me, I didn't know the people at my new church. So I had a season when I spent a lot of time with the Lord. Now I am a lot more involved and I am taking on more and more service positions, as much as I can do. But how do I know I am taking on too much?
How do I we know if we are doing those in God's will or are we simply wanting to please people or afraid to say "No"? How do we find a balance and avoid burnout?
Just say NO.
Honestly I struggle with those same questions because I have workaholic tendencies which means I find satisfactions in doing many things well. And here is the other hardest thing, I struggle with trying to please others and saying "No" to good things. I certainly don't know your situations and when saying NO is the right thing to do. But once I feel like I am taking on a lot already, which I am reaching that point, I will be very quick in saying NO and slow in saying yes. I know that if I take on one more thing, it may affect the quality of all my other services because I will need to take time away from doing other "good things". Then I will say NO first. If I feel anxious, tired, alone and like a martyr, I definitely take that as a sign to slow down. Or I will promise myself that if I must take on something new, then I will need to let go of another ministry because I am at my full capacity. Saying "no" may look bad and disappoint people, but it is a form of being fair and kind to myself. After all, if after I say "no", God told me to go back and say "yes", it's a lot easier because they often will be super glad to bring me onboard. However, if I say yes first, then later change my mind, it's much harder because they are already counting on me and have certain expectations. So learn to listen to your inner voice and get to know yourself, as to how much you can handle and what ministry is most important to you. It's likely that those ministry positions that are important to you and doing things you are good at are probably the ones most suitable for you. Say yes because you want to do it not because no one will do it or you feel guilty.
Draw strength from God outside of service mode
When you are constantly prepping lessons, setting up equipment, managing people, tackling problems, reading the Bible seems like another work task to be done or an obligation. It's different to read the Bible because you have to teach on it or lead a small group. Spend time in scripture, prayer or nature because you desire to be with God and you need His strength. No output required. You don't need to write a report or share in a small group about your reading of scripture. Do it just because you want to hear from God. Soak in His love for you and draw strength from Him. You may already know this, God will still love you if you don't serve at all. Your identity is separate from your service in a ministry. Serving should not be your main source of validation. God is pleased because you are you....and you belonged to Him.
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