Some people make it look so easy on stage, but public speaking is still a number one fear for most people, next to death. If I could have my way, I would hide in the back somewhere doing things no one sees. My Dad liked the spotlight, but my mom hided in the back. I have my mom's personality. I don't like the stage or people's attention or have grown people look at me. For some reason, I don't mind kids that much. But recently, I am having many opportunities to speak in front of grown-ups. So I have to force myself to learn.
My opportunities came in our local CR in Kaohsiung. It's a new CR just started about 3 years ago. The only other experienced CR is in Ban-Chiau which is near Taipei in northern Taiwan. I love CR and have been involved in this wonderful Christ-centered recovery program for 13 years. When I came from the States, somehow, I became one with the most experience here. Not only I immediately sponsored many wonderful women who are in need of a sponsor, I am involved as a Training Coach in CR leadership. By now I know that this is one of the reasons God sent me here. Almost as soon as I got here, the ministry leaders asked me to give my testimony, first in English with translation, then in Mandarin, When I barely survived that, I was asked to start teaching CR lessons in Mandarin. I was faced with the challenge of not only speaking in public, but in a language that is difficult and unfamiliar. But the bottom line is that I love CR and I want to see God work through me, so I agreed in faith. God is faithful each time I spoke, though there is always room for improvement. I still don't do it well, and don't' like it. but I am writing this blog to remind myself about the following principles:
1) Prepare well
Needless to say, it's all in the preparation. Giving a speech is so hard in Mandarin for an English speaker like me. I write everything out in English, then translate it, keep tweaking it until it sounds right, edit it to include any new insights the Lord shows me. If time allows, I send it to someone else to proofread it and make some suggestions. Then I read it out loud several times to make sure I know how to pronounce each word, finally I time the speech to make sure it isn't too long. I want to say the effort is about 10 times harder than giving a speech in English. But recovery of others is of utmost importance, and I really want to do this.
2) Tell a good story
We are created to love a good story. Use stories to illustrate your point. Be captivating when you tell your story, include 5 senses and lots of descriptions. If they forget everything else you talked about, they will probably remember the story you told. In my last speech, I use a personal story to illustrate the hardest step in recovery: "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." It's a story of a dead rat in my garage that smell day after day, and I kept spraying air freshener and burn candles to try to cover up until the odor was unbearable and I had to get rid of the huge dead rat, which I did with my daughter while both screaming. Sure enough, when I asked my sponsee what she remembered from the teaching, she said the dead rat. Stories are so powerful. Make sure you have at least one compelling story in your speech.
3) Say something funny
Not only do people love a good story, but they also love to laugh. I know I do. Whenever I taught in Sunday school, I tried to use humor to illustrate my point, and the students loved it. I like to exaggerate and make it funny for the kids. With adults, I am more reserved, but I still love to crack a joke here and there. Everyone has their own style of humor, and you don't have to try very hard, but just be yourself and sometimes it just happens to be funny. Most of the time when people laughed at what I said, I don't really know why because I wasn't trying to be funny. I think self-deprecating jokes are the best. Find little inconsistencies in your own life and mine those daily so you can have an endless supply of humor. I guess being yourself and let yourself shine can bring laughter. Relax and be yourself when you speak.
4) Manage anxiety
Some make it look like it's effortless, but everyone feels the anxiety. I am only needing to give a speech to a group of 20-30 people. But some speakers have audience much larger, and they must feel much more anxiety. Since we already know everyone gets anxious, we just need to expect it and accept it. I tell myself I am excited because this is important to me. Nervous energy and excitement feel about the same, so I always tell myself, "This is so exciting!" It's called lying to yourself with positive self-talk. It works.
5) Be in the moment
This is very hard for me, perhaps the hardest part. When I spent all that time preparing the speech, I want to read it and make sure I cover everything on that preparation. But I forget that the most important part of the speech isn't about me and what I want to cover, it's about the audience. I never want to lose the audience. So I need to remember at least the opening and the closing of my speech without looking at my notes. I don't want to look down and read my notes a whole lot because then I lose connection with the audience. As much as possible, I have bullet points or PowerPoint slides that I glance at so I know what to cover next. Be present and make it feel like a conversation than a speech.
6) Watch your nonverbal communication
You probably know the shocking truth that only 7% of communication is verbal. 7%!!!! WHAT!!! That is super discouraging to all teachers!! why are we even teaching? Well, just remember that your audience is watching your body language and reading that much more than your words. So, dress appropriately, stand tall, relax, and smile. Don't cross your arms and don't back away from the audience. Keep eye contact, use hand gestures and show that you are excited about your topic. The tone of voice is important too. This part I am still working on and definitely need work. Vary the speed, volume, and style of your voice with facial expressions. Avoid monotone voice at all costs. Remember those professors that put you to sleep? Well, don't be like them.
Well, there you have it. Those are the things I aim for when I do get a chance to speak publicly. I hope you kill it out there. Go and make a difference! Do it scared.
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